my rant about "winning"

At the risk of being a buzz kill, I have to say it. It's not okay to makes jokes at - or with - a self-destructing celebrity.

As much as such jokes have been a staple of popular culture in recent years/decades, as much hay as people make from them, it speaks poorly of us as a people. It's poor that we fail to recognize denial and illness for what it is, that we prod on others' madness. Even if we ourselves don't write the articles or link to the videos, participating in the culture of scorn makes us an accessory.

My Twitter streams and Facebook feeds have been filled this week with references to "winning" and "tiger blood." Most of the jokes come from friends of mine who went through seminary, who have degrees in service and compassion. I don't want to judge, but who am I kidding: I'm completely judging. I want to shake my friends. But, for a variety of reasons, mostly having to do with cowardice and what I like to think is humility, I keep my mouth shut. But because I persist in the belief that 2 people, maybe 3 tops, read this blog, here I can vent.

Do we feel that other people are fair game for mockery because they put themselves in these positions? I'm not just talking about celebrities here. We are vicious with strangers in any situation, and for any reason...driving habits, wardrobe choices, public behavior, etc. Even when we never actually meet these people, our reactions to them matter. Every action of compassion spreads and multiplies, as does every action of disregard. We train ourselves in paths of behavior that get harder and harder to change.

One woman told me last week that she's conflicted about praying for the people in the Mideast during these times of rebellion, because that disaster is "man-made." She's much more comfortable praying for the victims of the floods in New Zealand...a simple, natural disaster. She couldn't see that the waves of poverty, oppression and politics have swept over people as surely and irresistibly as flood waters.

There's something wrong when we can't see the strings that tie us to each other, when we see events as isolated, and ourselves as blameless, even as we work together in the same systems as every other person. It's especially bad when we watch TV shows that pay for people's breakdowns. There's something wrong when we can't admit how the lives we lead affect those around us, even in ways we can't imagine. There's something wrong when we think that other people are as independent as we believe ourselves to be, and blind ourselves to the forces that created each moment, each illness. When we can't recognize our own illnesses for what they are.

Even if we're not capable of perfect awareness and compassion at every moment - and I mean, really, who is? I read the tabloid headlines at the grocery checkout, usually with guilty relish - there's something wrong when we stop trying.

Linda Holmes at NPR's Monkey See blog posted beautifully about this phenomenon in entertainment last week. It's a good read, I recommend it. She in turn was inspired by Craig Ferguson, the late-night TV host, who compared our celebrity culture to laughing at the lunatics in Bedlam. There are artists and journalists who are choosing to be compassionate; I wish there were more I could link to.